Dreams of my Daughter

Sociologists consider education as the most potent tool for social mobility, because in a fragmented compartmentalized society like India degrees and tags(IITian, IAS, IPS) can get you things which are hard to get otherwise. In all society a few things are valued more than others, hierarchical arrangement of occupation is prevalent in all societies and India is no exception. However, in our society there are very few occupations that has been considered worthy enough to find a place in the list. In western societies the list is endless but here the list stops after engineering and Medicine. Educational and occupational decision are taken up by family, what college, which branch, which company, which city all these are decided by family and individual is reduced to "agent smith" who simply executes the order. Our society values education not for the wisdom that education provides us but for the salary that education from a premier institute guarantees. Educational institute are perceived as mint making industry where best of minds are shaped into mints of different denomination. The goal of any educational institute should be to develop skills and survival strategies. The mind set of parents should change. Indian Child rearing practices needs an overhaul, even after a child crosses 25 years it is the parents who take their decisions. Even after graduation the Indians remains child of their parents rather than becoming a grownup son. Parents impose their view on children. Its true that the amount of pain and sacrifice Indian parents make for their child is unparalleled. However, parents child relationship are ought not to be reciprocal. Today's middle class youth has only one dream, they all want to fulfill dreams of their parents', hardly anyone talks about their own vision and the dreams they would like to realized, truly there exist no other land where so much sacrifices are made. What happens to our dreams goals and aspiration, will they ever be realized?if you are not impotent then there is no need to be disheartened, your child will fulfill your dream. He will take his gf to high mountain where you wanted to make honeymoon, he will marry girl of his choice the freedom you were denied, he will join animation program and will give shape to your's high school imagination. Why to worry dear your child will fulfill your dream. Then why to f**K, let your child to fulfill even that dream. The fate of child is decided long before she is born, the injustice done by the previous generation is perpetuated thus, and the future generation is made slave of previous generation.

Independence and autonomy are the virtues which are least inculcated by Indian CRPs(child rearing practices), the Indian CRPs consist of many dont's and very few do's the child is frequently punished for mistakes and rarely rewarded for right behavior. This punishment laden learning makes us risk averse and initiatives are curbed before they can germinate. For society to become self sufficient in technology we need to take risk, make innovation and all these are directly linked to CRPs.

Though after 21 years of age you can take political decision but we are not considered wise enough to take personal decisions. I was astonished to hear that after a road accident(in which one our friend died) my alma mater implemented blanket ban on possession of vehicles by student. Instead of banning vehicles, students should have been taught driving skills, and regarding drunk driving high penalty provision should have been made. But putting a ban was the most easiest thing. The focus is not on developing right behavior but rather eliminating the deviant behavior by eliminating complete behavior, after all elimination is easier than reorienting deviant behaviors. In my opinion too much attempt to shield us from vagaries of life makes us impotent and deprives us from opportunities where self regulation and self control can be learned. What will the institute do after one graduates and rides a bike after some shots of tequila or few puffs of charas on Pune expressway.

Why does society not expose us to harsh life gradually, why do they expects that one sudden day we will acquire enlightenment.

The society at large is against sex education being provided at school, in a way it either expects that children should learn mystery about sexuality form cheap literature or is it that on the eve of 21st birthday child suddenly acquires sex-knowledge. The human development is gradual and no skill or knowledge comes suddenly rather it is acquired gradually through practice, and for that prior exposure, some autonomy and respect for child's decision is necessary.

I only pray that our future generation should be given the opportunity to realized their own dream and we must ensure that we dont impose our will on them.